It’s strange to think where all the time has gone, the past three years seem to have flown by.
I tend to get a bit nostalgic around birthdays. Looking back on birthday’s past. Last year when everything was Peppa Pig themed, I was 7 months pregnant with Oscar and I made cakes for a tea party at our old flat.
Before that, the celebration and excitement that was her first birthday. Complete with a big party and naming ceremony. The stress organising it all, and she didn’t smile once all day!
Or, the day of her birth and her dramatic arrival into the world. Seeing her eyes looking up to me for the first time, and meeting the tiny person who was to change our lives completely.
Who’d have thought this time last year that today we’d be visiting the Daycare centre for pre theatre blood tests. As an important week for us looms with theatre, tests and chemo all scheduled for the next few days.
She had been less than enthusiastic about her big three in the days leading up to today. Who could blame her really? This past month has been her toughest of her tiny life so far.
So much change and upheaval crammed into such a short space of time, would be too much for anyone to handle, especially someone so young. Her little world has been turned upside down. You can understand her not being in the party mood…
I’ve tried not to get too miserable about our situation. But sometimes a wave engulfs you and it’s hard not to get carried along for the ride. If you consider the whys and wherefores of what we’re experiencing it can drag you down, and you’re no help to anyone. Maybe I’m being overly sentimental but today I was overcome by the unfairness of it all. Poppy should be enjoying a party with friends and family. She should be high on a sugar rush, ripping open presents and full of excitement at what being three will bring.
Instead she was tired and quite subdued. Unrecognisable from the steroids changing her appearance and the effects of chemo taking its toll.
It wasn’t all doom and gloom though. She enjoyed her new paints, and eating dinner from her new robot plate. She raised a smile for visitors and made some arty pictures with big brother Zain and his girlfriend Alyssa.
So perhaps it wasn’t how I’d imagined Poppy turning three would be. And maybe it won’t be the best birthday Poppy ever has. But, what I do know, is when all this is better we’ll have the best party. There’ll be food, presents and maybe even a slide!
So in this instance I’m going to look forward not backwards. Next year will be better. And the year after that. And all the many years that will follow. I know that for certain. I promise you that my sweet girl. Happy Birthday Poppy Leah.